C. S. Thurman

The main purpose of this post is to catch everyone up on certain decisions that I made over a year ago regarding my choice of degree, and thus choice in career.

I’ve led a pretty busy life. From the time that I got married in 2012 to now, I have been always looking at some project, a life event, or something that has kept me moving forward. In 2012 it was starting my new life with my wife and the family we were growing, and in 2013 it was the birth of my first child while beginning the steps to getting a degree from UVU in English Secondary Education. That goal had been the constant for almost 6 years of my life. In that time, I had grown as a person in ways that I never would have expected.

The biggest thing that has changed who I am since I first decided that I wanted to be an English teacher is that I am now a father. In 2013 my wife and I welcomed our son to the world. Little did we know that things would be different than how we had planned. When we found out that he is Autistic it helped clear up a lot of things that we had seen, but had increased our sense of worry. When we found out about his Autism we had by that point added two hair-pulling daughters that have me wrapped around their fingers. Because of all this I had to reconsider my goals of becoming a high school English teacher. I slowly realized that being a teacher meant that I’d often have to bring my work home with me. I interviewed English teachers and found that teaching is more than just a full time job, but one that I’d have to bring home with me at the end of the day. And summer break was no exception. I found that for the first few years or more, my summers would be filled with planning and preparation work for the next school year.

As much as I enjoy the idea of teaching, I knew that this wasn’t going to fit with the lifestyle that I wanted. I wanted something that will allow me time to spend with the kids at home to help with my wife, and being an English teacher was becoming less and less at the top of the less. This wasn’t what my wife or I wanted. I knew that I needed to find something stable that would allow me to keep work at work if I needed so I could help at home with my wife and the kids.

This whole realization came about just after Halloween in 2019. Thanksgiving was around the corner and I was struggling with my schoolwork and was stressed about getting into the Education Program at UVU (I needed a GPA of 3.0 but was short by about .3). But then my mother-in-law offered some interesting advice in a family newsletter that she had sent out a few weeks early in preparation for our Thanksgiving getaway trip. She talked about following your dreams and gave examples of people that they knew personally who had accomplished finding work that fit what they wanted to do. She also gave examples of people like Oprah; J. K. Rowling; and many others who didn’t find their dream job until later in life. This opened up a whole can of worms inside my mind. I began to allow questions that I had buried deep inside to surface. Questions like “Do I want to grade homework all the time?” or “Will I have time to help my wife with the children when I come home?” and “Will I have time to pursue other interests and hobbies during the school year, or will I feel rushed during the summertime to get through it all?”

I realized then that the life I had wanted was no longer what I wanted or needed for my family. My stress level went through the roof! But I was elated at the same time, a voice (which I recognize now was the Holy Ghost speaking to me) was telling me that I was on the right track. I knew instantly that if I wasn’t meant to get my degree in English Education, then the only other option left for me was an English degree. Because I love to write fantasy going with an emphasis in Creative Writing seemed the natural thing to do. When I told my wife both our stress levels went through the roof too! We had been planning on me being a teacher for our seven years of marriage, what were we going to do?

How could I change career paths when we’ve come so far? What job could I get if we make this change? Am I sure that this is what I want?

These were all the questions that plagued me and my wife, as we pondered and prayed over this choice. Eventually my wife and I became open to the idea of switching degrees. But still I didn’t know exactly what I was going to do after graduation, but I felt better about my degree and where I was going. Looking back on this, I feel horrible because almost a year earlier I had similar thoughts but was too nervous to pursue them until I was backed into this corner I have made for myself.

Now, fast forward a few months after this decision. Frozen 2 had come out and was a big hit in our house (bought the soundtrack and everything so the girls and boy could sing their favorite songs of course), and I had started a new semester as an English major. During that Spring 2020 semester I took a course at UVU that is meant to help students know what is out there for English degree majors, and even though it stressed my wife to no end, I felt excited at the prospects that await! English degree majors do not have one single skill that makes us useful over another person, we have MANY! English majors, no matter their emphasis, develop their skills in writing, reading, editing, analyzing, communication, and many more that are useful in the workforce. For me, my love of writing and creating stories has been with me since high school, so of course I felt right at home in my new degree course.

Now you may be asking, how does this connect with Frozen 2? Why bring it up in the title or even mention when it came out? Well, right before I made this life changing decision, we saw it in theaters. For some reason I loved Frozen 2 more than I loved the 1^st. I couldn’t understand why, but I was drawn to the music more than I have to any other soundtrack.

During that Spring 2020 semester, I finally realized why as I loved the lyrics the characters were singing while I listened to the soundtrack in my car (don’t judge, I know many people out there love listening to Disney Music and are just afraid to show it). Frozen 2 had become the metaphorical version of my life for the past 3 months! The song Some Things Never Change completely illustrated the love that I have for my family while also highlighting that somethings in life never change, and that we never want things to change. I knew that the love for my wife and children will continue to grow throughout all eternity. Anna and Olaf’s duet helped reflect the friendship that I’m building and have with my children, while Kristoff’s helps show that “the love that I feel for” my wife will “never change”. And to top it off, Elsa, is able to express my feelings about my family elegantly when she says, “I’m not sure I want things to change at all these days are precious, can’t let them slip away I can’t freeze this moment, but I can still go out and seize this day” and I couldn’t agree more. But during the last year I too often felt that “The winds are restless” and that I was “hearing this call” in my heart because something just wasn’t quite right in my life. My goals had not been aligned properly and I needed to fix it.

This lead straight into Elsa’s solo of Into the Unknown. This was quite literal for me and my wife. We had become afraid of the Unknown, and distrusted the feeling of unsurety when it came to a future job. For me I had tried to resist the call of the Unknown for over a year I was afraid of the call to change degrees and switch career paths. I just simply wouldn’t listen to that voice inside of me. Like Elsa, I was “afraid of what I’m risking if I follow [it] into the Unknown.” I was worried that the voice I heard was my own inner desire that would “distract me so I make a big mistake.” But soon “everyday [became] a little harder as I feel my [desire] grow” and soon I couldn’t but help think about everything that I wanted to write and was writing. I knew that teaching had become an empty goal and my mind wouldn’t let me rest until I had made that change. Once I gave in and made that choice to follow my own voice into the Unknown, things became much easier for me and my life.

At first though, I was a little skeptical of the change, but now that I’m a little older, I’m seeing that things are starting to make sense. And yes, me singing in the car while listening to the Frozen 2 soundtrack was totally an Olaf moment of realizing “that these were all completely normal events.” I have realized that being an adult “means adapting” while working “out [my] world and [my] place” and hopefully when I’m older, “I’ll feel totally secure” in the new world that I am making for myself. So long as it’s not “something with a creepy, creepy face” watching me… But in all honesty, this has been fine. I feel the Spirit guiding me and the decisions that I must make, and I know that I am on the right path by being true to my strengths and being a Creative Writer.

My biggest revelation that I received was that Elsa’s character arch was in fact my arch. I had been struggling until I had let my voice inside lead me to my Ahtohallan. I had to “Show [my]self. As I write and develop my skills and looking for a job that will fit me and my family’s needs, I’m coming into my own and fully realizing my potential. At this point in time I still have a semester left before I graduate, so I know that I am still “Grow[ing]… into something new” but this is the chance I’ve “been waiting for all of my life” and I’m so grateful to have come this far. I’m also finally realizing the voice I’ve been hearing has been from God, telling me what I need to be doing to live the life that I need and want. I know that it will continue to be a bumpy ride as I enter into the workforce fulltime, and there are still many unknowns that I have yet to face in life. But with my family by my side I know that it will all be worth it in the end because I have my God leading me, and he will not leave me.

I still have big goals of becoming a published author, but I know that will not happen without a lot of work. Nothing comes without work. I had to work to find myself. I may not become a fulltime author, but I know that I’ll at least one day be a published author.